The Chris Brown Love Triangle: Can You Be In Love With More Than One Person? by: @therealHNF
7 billion people on the planet. Only 1 is made just for you. You’re going to find that person and happily spend the rest of your life with that person, love conquering all obstacles that would dare stand in your way. Is that how you were designed, or is that what they (the infamous “they”) taught you?
The World Wide Web is abuzz today about a video featuring Chris Brown confessing that he’s in love with both of his exes, Rihanna and Karrueche Tran. During the video, an intoxicated Brown wonders aloud if it’s possible to love more than one person. This coherent drunken rambling gave me an interesting topic to write about. I’ve noticed a gradual shift in the media’s portrayal of relationships in America. It started out like this:
Get married straight out of high school, have kids, cheating is bad
Then it became:
Get married after you establish your career, have kids, cheating is still bad
Focus on your career, have a friend with benefits, if you’re in a “committed” relationship, cheating is bound to happen, so it’s ok
My question is, it’s obvious that our brains were hard-wired to be attracted to more than one person. You think that’s a cop out? Well, how come, no matter how happy we are in our relationship with our strong black man/woman, as soon as them tender new legs walk by we go:
I’m certain that unless you ended up marrying your high school sweetheart, you have been in love with more than one person in your life. Okay ladies. Let’s say you’re in love with a guy. You guys break up amicably because he moves away, but your feelings haven’t changed for him. You meet a new guy, and over time, you fall in love with him. Did your feelings for the 1st guy disappear because the new guy came along? What if the 1st guy moves back in town and wants to re-connect? Desire and ability is the difference between being together and not being together. How many relationships were desired but unable to happen based on a factor like distance? Or, he didn’t have a car? Or, we had chemistry and were very compatible, but he didn’t have enough money to provide basic needs? We love more than one person at the same time all the time, we just might not have the fortune (or misfortune for some) of having those people in the same room (or city, or state) with you. We love our mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters and cousins don’t we? But we all can agree that they don’t occupy the same space in our hearts. They each have their own compartment, a place just for them. Why do we expect our love lives to be different? There’s only room for one person in that big ol’ heart of yours? LIES!!
I cannot overstate the media’s hypocrisy of promoting casual, no-strings-attached sex, and saying cheating is inevitable while giving the word a negative connotation. The word “cheating” should be eliminated from the relationship dictionary. It implies that this is nothing more than a game, and somehow the natural urges we decide to satisfy are inherently wrong, punishable by an eternity of fire and brimstone. Maybe something bigger is going on. A conspiracy of sorts. Who is benefitting from this requirement of marital union? From this constant competition with your fellow man over the attention (
booty) of a lady? What if life was one big orgy?